The WNBA is totally annoying

Here's how to fix the WNBA in time for Caitlin Clark's first season

Read this post on my blog

Professional women's basketball is a cesspool of mediocrity full of women gatekeeping so the sport can't change. Fortunately, incoming rookie Caitlin Clark is worth more than the entire WNBA due to her sponsorships. This means that unlike other players, Clark doesn't work for the WNBA she works for her sponsors and her fans.

Also, Clark broke the most important collegiate record which is women's basketball ratings on tv:  More people watched the women's final four than the men's, and women's college ratings for a Thursday game were higher than NBA games on Saturday. 

Fans love the upcoming collegiate players. Caitlin Clark, Angela Reese, Cameron Brink and Juju Watkins, are the top earning of ALL college athletes right now (nepo kids notwithstanding.) And Caitlin Clark has already exponentially increased the popularity of the team she'll be drafted to: almost all their games next year will be televised. 

So Clark in a great position to transform the league in a similar way to Michael Jordan resuscitated a failing NBA in the 80s. But the WNBA is going to have to make some changes for this to happen. 

1. Cut the older players

The WNBA players are delusional about how popular they are and they're shocked that they play to half empty stadiums. But it's because the pros are bad players and unlikable, and now they're complaining about Caitlin Clark  like jealous grade schoolers. Collegiate players don't play in the WNBA because the women there are bullies and notoriously intolerant of straight women. 

Also, the oldest players in the WNBA are the highest paid, even though they're clearly not going to get the organization to profitable. So they're overpaid. The WNBA can't make big strides without tv time. Fans tune in to see the newcomers play because they're more talented and more relatable. So cut the older women to free up salaries for younger women who have more exciting games.

2. Get new clothes 

In what world does it work for women to dress like men? WNBA is a product, and the packaging matters. Serena Williams is a template for how top female athletes can take ownership of their clothes. Female sprinters are a celebration of self-expression in competition.

I'm not saying the WNBA should dress like sprinters or volleyball players, but dressing like male basketball players is ridiculous. Why not have each team paired with a designer? That's effectively what professional tennis has. And esports teams are dressed by designers like Ralph Lauren. It's good for business, on both sides.

3. Lower the basket

The highest earning women's sports all adapted for physiological differences in the sexes: beach volleyball has lower nets, golf has closer tees, tennis has fewer sets. The WNBA already have a smaller ball and a shorter 3-point line, so it's not that big a deal to lower the basket. 

This isn’t just about dunking; being closer to the rim gives women like more space to try different things. They can make far more athletic moves when they're not relying on perfect balance make a layup. That change snowballs -- more excitement at the net will in turn allow to develop a more exciting defensive game as well. 

4. Add a four-point line

The four-point line changes who can deliver points for the team. Women coming into the WNBA like 3-point ace Sabrina Ionesco  have had the benefit of practicing extremely long shots their whole lives. So of course older players don't want a 4-point area on the court.

But the WNBA has already tested the 4-pointer, and the game is more exciting because fans love long shots. Also, the score would move faster which is something people like to watch. 

5. Allow the game to change

The game the NBA is playing today looks nothing like the game 20 years ago. Double-teaming was illegal before Michael Jordan, now it's normal. The euro step was initially illegal in the NBA, but now kids get taught that tactic in grade school. There's no telling how the next crop of players will change the game, but it's certain that the game will evolve.

The WNBA refuses to let that evolution take place. A lower basket means girls will learn to play differently. The changes to the game are not for the current players as much as they are for the next generation. Women playing basketball now should make space for those girls coming up.

The sport should constantly change which makes the new crop of players threaten the status quo. Sports are exciting that way. The threat and possibility that come with change is part of every profession - even basketball.

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