Penny, what you wrote sums up to putting those who you love first.
My sister died on Tuesday. I was always frustrated about having to be patient during our hour-plus weekly conversations, during which she would not always be kind while speaking about others. But I called her anyway because she was alone. I was being conscientious some of the time because my wife encouraged me to be conscious of her situation.
I do not regret being conscientious. Even though it was not intrinsic to me. People come first. People should always come first.
This really resonates with me. I think we need both passion and conscientiousness in different measures at different times in our (and our loved ones') lives. It's such a hard balance and toggling between the two is exhausting. Maybe there are seasons, too, and when our children our grown, perhaps we can make more room for our areas of passion.
Toggling between the two is exhausting. Yes. I think it’s the work-kids toggle. What we’re really g doing is turning on passion and turning it off. That can’t be healthy. I think it is what caused my burnout. Past tense is such a hopeful choice…
I think that's not entirely true. People (and children!) pick up on your passion, and you become a reference figure for that, a leader that leads by example. If you are not entirely neglecting others in your path (which I don't think you did, as you have sacrificed a lot for your children, for example), those others should and will see everything in perspective later on. I think this is of tremendous value. Having someone in your life with passion gives you the curiosity and drive to look for your own passion.
While I appreciate your effort to reframe (I do it myself all the time) "sacrificing a lot for children" is not giving them the empathy and time they need. The phrase about sacrificing a lot is a reference to how sad the parent is about giving up something in order to parent. So I try to never use that phrase myself.
Parents do not inspire passion by modeling it because passion is genetic and kids have the passion they have. What parents can do is give kids empathy and time. That makes kids feel important, and then they don't need to spend the rest of their lives trying to get external validation because they didn't feel important to their parents.
Parents do not find it fulfilling to split time between passion and kids. Because the definition of passion is drive and focus. So passion and kids demand to be done sequentially.
I realize the research in this area is disappointing. I'm disappointed also. But we can't find a better solution unless we face the disappointment.
Penny, what you wrote sums up to putting those who you love first.
My sister died on Tuesday. I was always frustrated about having to be patient during our hour-plus weekly conversations, during which she would not always be kind while speaking about others. But I called her anyway because she was alone. I was being conscientious some of the time because my wife encouraged me to be conscious of her situation.
I do not regret being conscientious. Even though it was not intrinsic to me. People come first. People should always come first.
This really resonates with me. I think we need both passion and conscientiousness in different measures at different times in our (and our loved ones') lives. It's such a hard balance and toggling between the two is exhausting. Maybe there are seasons, too, and when our children our grown, perhaps we can make more room for our areas of passion.
Toggling between the two is exhausting. Yes. I think it’s the work-kids toggle. What we’re really g doing is turning on passion and turning it off. That can’t be healthy. I think it is what caused my burnout. Past tense is such a hopeful choice…
I think that's not entirely true. People (and children!) pick up on your passion, and you become a reference figure for that, a leader that leads by example. If you are not entirely neglecting others in your path (which I don't think you did, as you have sacrificed a lot for your children, for example), those others should and will see everything in perspective later on. I think this is of tremendous value. Having someone in your life with passion gives you the curiosity and drive to look for your own passion.
While I appreciate your effort to reframe (I do it myself all the time) "sacrificing a lot for children" is not giving them the empathy and time they need. The phrase about sacrificing a lot is a reference to how sad the parent is about giving up something in order to parent. So I try to never use that phrase myself.
Parents do not inspire passion by modeling it because passion is genetic and kids have the passion they have. What parents can do is give kids empathy and time. That makes kids feel important, and then they don't need to spend the rest of their lives trying to get external validation because they didn't feel important to their parents.
Parents do not find it fulfilling to split time between passion and kids. Because the definition of passion is drive and focus. So passion and kids demand to be done sequentially.
I realize the research in this area is disappointing. I'm disappointed also. But we can't find a better solution unless we face the disappointment.