Your writing has consistently struck a chord with me for years, no matter the topic. I loved this essay and worry about this notion of growing old with a partner because at this point there really is no one for me to grow old with, only because anyone I could possibly be with at this point is fairly newly arrived on the scene.
Wow. Your prose here is just lovely. I have been married (not always happily) for nearly 35 years, & I can't describe our relationship better than you describe yours with Nino: "It's like we are time in a bottle for each other."
Absolutely beautiful! This is family at its most mundane but at its most wonderful. These little interactions in life, add up to your life, which is why handling them and mostly handling ourselves (ego, impatience, etc.) is so very important. The little things add up to the big and beautiful memories. I'm glad you have it for the future.
After a lot of therapy and spiritual direction, I decided to divorce my husband unofficially and have accepted that I will grow old alone. Once it was clear to me what I wanted, my life right now is all about finding spiritual growth and inner peace, and every day has been a joy because I can only focus on myself and all the ways that I can grow and learn and live to my full potential. This is why I enjoy this post so much. I wish you peace and joy in your own journey Penelope, thank you for sharing this story 😀
I have been thinking that maybe there is something beyond being with someone or without. Like there is with someone but youre very close or not that close but still with. Or there is not with someone but you work so hard at understnading yourself and being present that you are with. yourself so not alone. I don't have things straight in my head enoguh to write a post yet, but you make me think more about this idea.
It seems to me that you and Nino are growing old together already, whatever the status of your relationship or living arrangements might be. When you've known someone for half your life or more and had children with them there's often a bond that's hard to define. Although, Louis De Bernieres does a pretty good job in 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin,
'Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.'
Could you please share the author of this book, I’d love to find it at my local library. I’m nearing 60 and would like to read stories of older couples and how relationships look at this stage of life. Thank you for the recommendation.
OMG, I wondered if it might be connected to Seth Ari Cohen’s blog and book Advanced Style! Now I can find the book and buy both, I’ve loved his blog since 2008/2009 when I first discovered him. Wild to think I’m now part of his demographic as I inch toward the age of 60! The documentary Advanced Style was very inspiring. Thank you for sharing the book and author!!!
Yes, this is a good topic. I will write about it. I see it's a missing piece. I know I need to make a post about it becuase it's not straight enough in my head to write a direct response here.
I never understand how people can go through a whole divorce when there isn't abuse involved. It doesn't seem worth it. Thus I don't understand how ex-spouses can be friends.
Your writing has consistently struck a chord with me for years, no matter the topic. I loved this essay and worry about this notion of growing old with a partner because at this point there really is no one for me to grow old with, only because anyone I could possibly be with at this point is fairly newly arrived on the scene.
You’re amazing. This was a really touching one
Wow. Your prose here is just lovely. I have been married (not always happily) for nearly 35 years, & I can't describe our relationship better than you describe yours with Nino: "It's like we are time in a bottle for each other."
Absolutely beautiful! This is family at its most mundane but at its most wonderful. These little interactions in life, add up to your life, which is why handling them and mostly handling ourselves (ego, impatience, etc.) is so very important. The little things add up to the big and beautiful memories. I'm glad you have it for the future.
Peace.
After a lot of therapy and spiritual direction, I decided to divorce my husband unofficially and have accepted that I will grow old alone. Once it was clear to me what I wanted, my life right now is all about finding spiritual growth and inner peace, and every day has been a joy because I can only focus on myself and all the ways that I can grow and learn and live to my full potential. This is why I enjoy this post so much. I wish you peace and joy in your own journey Penelope, thank you for sharing this story 😀
I have been thinking that maybe there is something beyond being with someone or without. Like there is with someone but youre very close or not that close but still with. Or there is not with someone but you work so hard at understnading yourself and being present that you are with. yourself so not alone. I don't have things straight in my head enoguh to write a post yet, but you make me think more about this idea.
It seems to me that you and Nino are growing old together already, whatever the status of your relationship or living arrangements might be. When you've known someone for half your life or more and had children with them there's often a bond that's hard to define. Although, Louis De Bernieres does a pretty good job in 'Captain Corelli's Mandolin,
'Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.'
That's just beautiful, Graham. Thank you.
For your bathroom book stack add picture handbook Advanced Age… a compilation of real couples in mature years, many who did not grow up together.
Could you please share the author of this book, I’d love to find it at my local library. I’m nearing 60 and would like to read stories of older couples and how relationships look at this stage of life. Thank you for the recommendation.
It’s actually Advanced Love, by Ari Seth Cohen. The pictures and snippet stories will make you smile.
OMG, I wondered if it might be connected to Seth Ari Cohen’s blog and book Advanced Style! Now I can find the book and buy both, I’ve loved his blog since 2008/2009 when I first discovered him. Wild to think I’m now part of his demographic as I inch toward the age of 60! The documentary Advanced Style was very inspiring. Thank you for sharing the book and author!!!
Okay Penelope, I am confused. If you have been off and on with Nino for 20 years, where does the farmer come into the mix?
Yes, this is a good topic. I will write about it. I see it's a missing piece. I know I need to make a post about it becuase it's not straight enough in my head to write a direct response here.
Ditto
I never understand how people can go through a whole divorce when there isn't abuse involved. It doesn't seem worth it. Thus I don't understand how ex-spouses can be friends.
Oh and I am completely and perfectly happy to grow old "alone".