Totally relatable. Women are miracles really, being able to “shape shift” into different roles and versions of themselves, but after kids and over-adapting to corporate life at one’s peril it’s quite a task to learn to live happily with occasional glimmers of joy and be content with not over-performing anymore.
When my kid was sick and couldn’t go to school? I would do my best to work from home. The truth was I learned that when I tried to do that? I was a bad employee, and a short tempered mom, which isn’t good when your kid is sick and wants affection
Thanks for your comment, Gail. I think we just have to keep telling the truth about the experience of doing this so we are louder than the people claiming they did it all and were great at everything blah blah.
For me personally parenting was the most difficult and the most rewarding g job I have ever had. So I like you are still trying to find that same joy. My child has been out of college 4 years now.😳. I relate that the daily experience that can entail huge dynamics in many areas and forms to the return to finding what you did before and you felt fulfilled, what you want to keep and dispose of is ridiculously difficult. It is kind of like telling a child you can be anything you want when you grow up, without helping them to discover and recognize their interests, talents and where those would be placed to reach some level of fulfillment.
Hey Penelope, now I have to go back and read all the other great posts you link to! After the years of full time then part time work (great for everyone else, terrible for me) I STILL question my choice to put my kids first and I still get pissed off about it. Yikes - I’m still in Anger phase I guess. PS. The book idea rocks!
So important to say out loud that part-time work is terrible for the person doing it! I really feel that. For so many reasons. But the bottom line is it doesn't solve any problem because we're doing kids and work at half-throttle. And doing something halfway isn't very rewarding.
This resonates for me on so many levels right now. I’ve recently added the “I need to go back to work and do something meaningful so my kids can be proud of me” layer of self torture to the mix.
OMG that is a great example of self-torture. I think we all know that if you were working you would be thinking you need to not be working so your kids are well cared for. This is just nuts. For all of us.
💯. I left the most meaningful work role I’ve ever had to be present with my kids during an insanely traumatic time in our family’s trajectory. I’ll never regret that — but staring down my identity attachments to work has been an insane struggle (that I know so many of us face).
I'm noticing that what I need/want/like keeps changing as I move through transitions and passages of my life!
It seems to me that the companionship you have with Nino is a wonderful opportunity for both of you, and I hope that he recognizes what you bring into his world and that he helps you feel appreciated!
Trying to make a living and be a fully-present mother is a harrowing adventure. I became a parent in 1997. My youngest graduated in May and leaves for college in the fall. I have wrecked myself at least 1,000 times. I wish you tremendous joy and happiness. I believe it is there for you. I believe a very successful book is in your future.
Totally relatable. Women are miracles really, being able to “shape shift” into different roles and versions of themselves, but after kids and over-adapting to corporate life at one’s peril it’s quite a task to learn to live happily with occasional glimmers of joy and be content with not over-performing anymore.
Life sounds good for you. Somehow I find that very reassuring.
Trauma also leaves you feeling like whatever you are doing is not enough.
When my kid was sick and couldn’t go to school? I would do my best to work from home. The truth was I learned that when I tried to do that? I was a bad employee, and a short tempered mom, which isn’t good when your kid is sick and wants affection
Thanks for your comment, Gail. I think we just have to keep telling the truth about the experience of doing this so we are louder than the people claiming they did it all and were great at everything blah blah.
For me personally parenting was the most difficult and the most rewarding g job I have ever had. So I like you are still trying to find that same joy. My child has been out of college 4 years now.😳. I relate that the daily experience that can entail huge dynamics in many areas and forms to the return to finding what you did before and you felt fulfilled, what you want to keep and dispose of is ridiculously difficult. It is kind of like telling a child you can be anything you want when you grow up, without helping them to discover and recognize their interests, talents and where those would be placed to reach some level of fulfillment.
Hey Penelope, now I have to go back and read all the other great posts you link to! After the years of full time then part time work (great for everyone else, terrible for me) I STILL question my choice to put my kids first and I still get pissed off about it. Yikes - I’m still in Anger phase I guess. PS. The book idea rocks!
So important to say out loud that part-time work is terrible for the person doing it! I really feel that. For so many reasons. But the bottom line is it doesn't solve any problem because we're doing kids and work at half-throttle. And doing something halfway isn't very rewarding.
Yes! You always want to do what’s best for your family but you have to remember that YOU are part of your family, too!
This resonates for me on so many levels right now. I’ve recently added the “I need to go back to work and do something meaningful so my kids can be proud of me” layer of self torture to the mix.
OMG that is a great example of self-torture. I think we all know that if you were working you would be thinking you need to not be working so your kids are well cared for. This is just nuts. For all of us.
💯. I left the most meaningful work role I’ve ever had to be present with my kids during an insanely traumatic time in our family’s trajectory. I’ll never regret that — but staring down my identity attachments to work has been an insane struggle (that I know so many of us face).
I'm noticing that what I need/want/like keeps changing as I move through transitions and passages of my life!
It seems to me that the companionship you have with Nino is a wonderful opportunity for both of you, and I hope that he recognizes what you bring into his world and that he helps you feel appreciated!
Trying to make a living and be a fully-present mother is a harrowing adventure. I became a parent in 1997. My youngest graduated in May and leaves for college in the fall. I have wrecked myself at least 1,000 times. I wish you tremendous joy and happiness. I believe it is there for you. I believe a very successful book is in your future.
That would be great. Joy. Happiness. Book. Thank you for envisioning that for me :)