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Denise's avatar

Penelope, I read the comments on your old posts about the abuse, and I am sickened by them. It is hard to believe anyone is that horrible. I am so sorry you had to go through that, both the physical abuse and the online abuse.

I think it is normal for kids to want to take care of their moms. Especially boys of single moms. Please don't beat yourself up about that - it means you did a good job and raised good kids.

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Muck-raker's avatar

I find it so strange that when I read about the domestic violence with the farmer, I was like wait, what? Then I clicked the links and I remembered the pictures. I remembered your step mother telling you to leave and your dad coming. I do remember thinking no fuck don’t let your dad come. But I did not remember your descriptions of the violence. I too was sickened by the comments. I was wondering, did you write a post about the reality of your life with the farmer and then write 5 or more posts about your flower garden-which was amazing and beautiful pictures of your home aesthetic and bucolic pictures of the farm and driving hours for your sons cello lessons? Pretty sure you said many times you were staying for the kids. I would have said something like you should leave but I know you won’t . Not “you won’t” no one I have said that to and spent hours and years talking to does until, they do. And sometimes saying that to a victim only makes them feel more powerless. The final salvo my abusive boyfriend delivered was that he was leaving me because when he verbally abused the woman he was courting behind my back, she said he was an asshole and walked out on him. He was attracted to her because she stood up for herself and I just took it. Priceless. I agree with your assessment of the legal system and it is by design. I am also convinced most people just think it should be easy to leave your abuser. I think what you were telling your dad was people will think less of me if they knew, in turn I will lose credibility and consequentially readership/paid subscribers. Sadly, most likely, you are right once again.

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